"Out of my thoughts! You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since - on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets."

Okay, now I've hit rock bottom.
There definitely happened too much shit this summer, and it still gets worse.
I could have never imagined this year would be such a catastrophy.
I'm completely worn out, I'm devastated.

Location: An adventure-park would be cool. (And creepy) But I think I'ld go for the more realistic one,...
Stronghold: .. our old school! 8DDD The right place to fight zombies.
Vehicle: The Ford Ka. Probably the bestestest car ever C:
Sidekick: .. do I have to add anything to that? Look at her face. You just KNOW you'll be safe with her.
Last words: Yeah, typical me Q_Q"
Headwear: Mah HEAD-EATING BOW!!!11 Perhaps it will scare the crap out of the zombies. *_*;
Clean Undies: Bloomers. You've got to love them.
Attire: I need to be prettily dressed when zombies come over! 8)
Main Weapon: Accuracy International Arctic Warfare. <33
Secondary Weapon: Yeah, high heels DO kill.
Inventory & Battle Anthem: nothing to add.

So, some of you may already know. Last Friday, my boyfriend and I broke up.
If you ask me, we could have continued.
Having problems in a relationship doesn't mean that the relationship is bad. Get it, you will always have problems, and refusing to  face them does not make them go away, neither does being offended, without allowing your partner to cover mistakes up and continue just like that. And saying that a relationship is shitty when you have to make compromises is not exactly true - in fact, giving things up for a relationship is a great sacrifice and proof for love, if you ask me.
But I can accept that. It's not that I will devote myself when the other part treats me like shit.
Quite the contrary! I haven't cried since Saturday, and if you compare that to the weeks before, there's certainly an improvement, although
I still get sad when I think about the things that existed and will never happen again...
I really need some comforting :/ So, if you haven't done your good deed today, ...

Up to other things.
I FINALLY renovated my bedroom!
The walls used to be an ugly, piss-like yellow, with a dark green-and-blue border. Now I managed to paint the walls completely white - all by myself! *__* Which wasn't easy, really, since my walls ae at a certain point 3 metres high x_X But I did it, and now I will rearrange my furniture. (I already got rid of a lot of crap that had accumulated during the years)
Now it feels just right, just as a student's room should look :)
If you want to, I can take and post a few photographs - or, to those who live near me, come to my place C;

By the way! I got accepted at both  Mannheim and Hohenheim. I decided to go for Hohenheim, because I don't want to leave my home yet. Unlike most of my friends and former school comrades, I'm reeeeaaally looking forward to becoming a student.

So much happened this summer.. Most of it was not very good. I'm glad I can make a new beginning, though.
And there's this boy.. it might be that loneliness will be reduced a bit soon. I hope so. At least, it would be better for me.

"Des Weiteren griff Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart den Schwäbischen Gruß auf und komponierte zwei Kanons. Köchelverzeichnis Nr.: 231, Jahr: 1782, Kanon Leck mich im Arsch und Köchelverzeichnis Nr.: 382d, Jahr: 1782, Kanon Leck mir den Arsch fein recht schön sauber."

.. and I'm relieved it is finally over!
At the beginning of the 13th grade I thought I would be totally sad when school would be over,
but now I'm just glad I'm done with this.

I have to move on.

So, I haven't kept my journal up for a while now. Time to restart C;

The Hanami-Convention 2009 was awesome. I met a lot of gorgeous people (new and old acquaintances) and had a lot of fun.
We took some really good photos - -  but some still aren't uploaded.. I hope the owner of the camera will load them up, because I think they came out really well _w_
Here, have a preview C:



and another one:



Beforehand I had altered the cosplay a bit - repainted the shoes, chose a different colour for my eyebrows, restyled the wig a bit - and I think these little changements imrpoved the cosplay a lot. However I'm not 100% satisfied with it - but this will probably never be the case with Anemone.. She's just too difficult >w< (with Selphie, for example, I'm really satisfied).

Anyway, after spending so much time outdoors and so little time in the rooms of the Convention, I was wondering if it still pays off buying convention tickets 0_o How do you think about it?

On the subject of cosplay, let's talk a bit more about this - I finally know what I will cosplay at Connichi: On Friday Kagami from Lucky Star, on Saturday the BlackRockShooter-Version from Hatsune Miku and on Sunday probably Aerith. I had to get really expensive wigs for Kagami and Miku.. let's hope I will be able to sell them if I don't need them anymore ;_;

AND: I would like to do re-shoots of old cosplays, such as Hinamori Momo, Soi-Fon and Luppi from Bleach (since I think these turned out well and I never got really good photos).
Is anybody living in my area interested in some cosplay- or fashion-shoots? C: Please tell me so we can organize something.

Good day to everyone! ♥

I think I finished my portfolio for the Academy for Arts, now I'll have to prepare the formal contents.
The photographs definitely add a lot to the quality.
You have to wish me hugeloads of luck so that I will be accepted.

I followed ikusatami 's link to the test

"Which Axis Powers Hetalia country are you?"

and scored as Liechtenstein. Since I know almost nothing about the series, I was able to answer pretty unbiased, but OMG THIS IS SO TRUE.



"Liechtenstein:

A young lady under the care of Switzerland. She’s very clever.
She has a very humble and adult personality, but she will always clearly state her views.
She’s pretty high-tech."

Dont' you think? XD

... Character Meme! I got tagged by jiroh_akutagawa and have to be-meme Ulquiorra from Bleach.

1. Do you like this person?
- Hurrhurr. First I hated him (because everyone was OHMIGODHEISOSEXYfasdjklfaskljakls), but while reading the chapter where he fights Ichigo for the first time (and leaves shirtless, aww) he totally started being appealing to me. 8D So, yes.

2. How do you call this person?
- Ulqui, Ukelalala and Ukelala-chan are my personal favourites.

3. Which color do you associate with this person?
- I think I'd say green (because of his impressing eye colour) and white (because of his Espada-Uniform).

4. What do you like best about his/her look?
- .. Difficult one. His overall look pleases me, but if I had to choose I think I would go with.. damned, I don't know. I like everything about him. 8D His black nail polish is a very speacial feature, of course. [/joke]

5. Looking at his/her character, what blood type do you think he/she has?
- He's definitely the type for 0. (Which reminds me of his ZERO-Shots).

6. What do you want to tell that person?
- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"May I touch your BANKAI?" 8D

7. What do you want to do with this person: hug, kiss or shake?
- Have sex with.
Shaking no, hugging feels SO WRONG when done with Ulqui, kissing... Nah. He's not a sensual type at all. So probably none of the above mentioned.

8. Pick five of your friends and pick one person for them:
Err.. I don't really want to pick character or force people into something. So I'll mention some names and if they want to, they can do it (you better did, or else I'll come with my whip >D)
Maybe m37a, ruka_hime and candorebanto ? I hope you haven't done it yet. C:

Other remarkable things to say? Tomorrow, school starts again.
Not motivated.
Not in mood.
But I'm sure this is the case with almost all my jolly fellows - we still have to write exercises in class, which will count as well.
So, I wish us a huge loadful of energy, so that we can master those last weeks of torture!

I wonder if I would be accepted at the academy if I included nude pictures.

who knows.. maybe OTHER BITCHES BE DOIN' _THE SAME?!?

Honestly, I would sell myself to become a student there.

...

>D

First I want to thank all who wished me a happy birthday <3
I turned 19 on 23rd of March, and last Saturday I had a small party. Unfortunately many of my friends were on a school exchange in Greece and therefore couldn't come, but we managed to have a great evening by ourselves.
We had a Greek pasta bake, which is very tasty as it contains minced meat, cream and cheese, and also Flammkuchen-bars, and afterwards two sorts of muffins I made the day before - black-and-white-muffins (for those who don't love coconut) and Lemon-coconut-muffins (for those who love cocnut). I particularly liked the lemon-coconut-muffins; they were better than I had expected (since I had made up the recipe I didn't know if they had turned out well), acutally they were delightful since I added a blue confectioner's sugar icing that gave the muffins a fresh air.

And I have to mention it: alas, the written part of my abitur-exam is over!
I feel really relieved, although it didn't go superb in all subjects :// But we'll see, at least I don't have to worry about that anymore.
At the moment I'm preparing the portfolio for my application at the Academy of Arts in Stuttgart - I am very tense, since there are about 200 applications every year and they only accept 2o, .e.g 10% and you really have to be good to get in.
I don't know what could be any alternative - I get the feeling the more I get involved with my portfolio, the more I feel reassured I really want to do this. It's not that I wouldn't find anything else to study, but I don't want to get stuck with a job I really don't want to do, since you have to get along with it at least 30 years.
Keep your fingers crossed for me - I can't make any realistic prediction at all. :C

As you might have guessed I have holidays at the moment - we have really nice weather here, which makes it very beautiful to pass the days (unless you don't have to stay inside and sit in front of the computer >_>).

Yesterday I watched Pride&Prejudice (the 2005 version) on TV - at least I tried to. @_@ Gosh, I couldn't stick to it.
I thought Keira Knightley was being awful. She seemed so unauthentic and completely artificial - I really couldn't see anything of Elizabeth Bennet in her. She would have made a better Mary.
Otherwise the film would have been quite good - I liked the composition and dialogues, although I somewhat missed the relationship between Lizzy and Mr Wickham.

So now I'm off to work again. Bleh. On the one hand I just want to be lazy and stuff, on the other hand I know if I don't work now I can look for something else.

To calm a bit down I registered on Cosplay.com: http://www.cosplay.com/member/161752/
Can friends be added there? If yes, would anyone like to add me?

I'm SO pissed off.

WHAT right do my parents have to throw my (now former) possessions out?
Last weekend I was searching for my old pair of chucks.. I clearly remember that I had said I don't want them to be thrown out because I would/might need them someday.
But I found none. Obviously, someone threw them out, and it has to be one of my parents. Both say that they didn't throw them out. WHAT. Did some holy ghost come and take them with him because they're so trendy? Seriously.
And now the same with my jeans jacket. The thing is I really stressed the fact that I wanted them to be kept. I feel betrayed. :C

Not only that, but also certain persons seem to IGNORE ME for NO REASON. Thank you very much.

*BRB DYING FOREVER*

PS. I wanted the jeans jacket for an Aerith Cosplay (I had it in mind for 3 years).

Also.. Abitur (final exams) are approaching. Do -- not -- want x_X

4,5 hours of maths course, 1 hour of maths homework, 2,5 hours in school with maths teacher makes a total of 8 hours of maths. And still have an awful load of homework.
I've never spent so much time on studying.
I can't wait for the day this shit will be over.

"Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. Afterwards, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own."

</a></span></b></a>la_schuschu gave me the letter C. Uh-ooh, difficult letter! I reaaally had a hard time coming up with some topics..

01. Cake, Cupcakes and Candy: I don't think I have to comment this, eh?!
02. Christmas: Most males I know hate that season, "because everyone is just pretending". Wtf?? I don't care, as long as the atmosphere is wonderful!
03. Cons&Cosplay: Going through the process step by step yourself, gorgeous! Sadly I don't have much time left fot that occupation..
04. Cats: Fluffy.
05. Chanel: Since my aunts bought me my first chanel dress and make-up (I was a kid back then) I'm addicted to the brand. Moah, I can't wait for the time until I can spend my own money >_o
06. Colours: Most people think I'm colour-allergic, but honestly, I love colours. It's just that I prefer dressing in cool tones rather than bright shiny ones.
07. Caterpillars: I have only been once in a lunapark with caterpillars, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I want to go there again.. Anyone interested?
08. Cinematography: Everyone knows what I'm talking about: Sitting in the cinema, tension is building up, gentle shivers running down your spine..
09. Capitalists: My father is one. I am one. It's in the genes, what can I say..
10. Cleverness: Useful. And sexy as hell.

</a></span></b></a>jiroh_akutagawa asked me to pimp the 10-facts-meme and make a 25-facts-meme out of it. Bring it oon!

11. Milk is my favourite drink.
12. When I was 15 I had a crush on Karl Moor from Schiller's drama Die Räuber. Now we are reading the piece in school, and I think I'm falling in love again..
13. I hate taking decisions. Everything's perfect when I know what I want, but when being confronted with to different opportunities I'm almost getting mad.
14. I collect syringes. Since my mother is a doctor, she can give me the injections I need, and then I always keep them because I think they're cute.
15. I once had a cinnamon contamination, because I poured too much on my pudding. (Disgusting feeling)
16. When I was born, I broke my collarbone because the nurse tugged at my head.
17. I have about five different pairs of overknee socks. I looove them!!
18. I never go out of the house without my watch. I NEED to know what time it is. Always!
19. I almost never watch TV, although I have one in my room. I'm simply not interested in the TV program..
20. When I was a child, I had nightmares about an ambos falling upon me.
21. When I'm absent-minded I start biting my nails.
22. la_schuschu la_schuschu gave me the letter C. Uh-ooh, difficult letter!

Candy: I don't think I have to comment this, eh?!

</a></b></a>jiroh_akutagawa asked me to pimp the 10-facts-meme and make a 25-facts-meme out of it. Bring it oon!

11. Milk is my favourite drink.
12. When I was 15 I had a crush on Karl Moor from Schiller's drama Die Räuber. Now we are reading the piece in school, and I think I'm falling in love again..
13. I hate taking decisions. Everything's perfect when I know what I want, but when being confronted with to different opportunities I'm almost getting mad.
14. I collect syringes. Since my mother is a doctor, she can give me the injections I need, and then I always keep them because I think they're cute.
15. I once had a cinnamon contamination, because I poured too much on my pudding. (Disgusting feeling)
16. When I was born, I broke my collarbone because the nurse tugged at my head.
17. I have about five different pairs of overknee socks. I looove them!!
18. I never go out of the house without my watch. I NEED to know what time it is. Always!
19. I almost never watch TV, although I have one in my room. I'm simply not interested in the TV program..
20. When I was a child, I had nightmares about an ambos falling upon me.
21.

</lj>I'm very ticklish. You just need to touch me accidentally and I will shrink back.
23. There are three twin pairs in my family - two of them are my mother and aunt and my father's sisters.
24. My favourite TV show (if I ever get to watch TV) is South Park.
25. I love taking a walk, especially when it's windy (but not too cold).

This weekend was a quiet one. Finally my boyfriend came over again.. It had been three weeks since I had seen him (which is way too long). We went to an Indian restaurant and ate Chicken Korma - OMG, SO GOOD. YOU HAVE TO TRY IT. It's a curry meal with cream, coconut, cardamom and almons.. and just wayyy too good. You get as much rice as you want, and at the end we were really full. Later we went to a meet-up with some of my friends in a local bar.. We stayed till one o'clock - only three (male) friends of mine were still there, and quite drunk - which was really funny, as they missed the last train and didn't know what to do.
Saturday we went to Beuren, a thermal spa, and we spent a great time there. The weather was cold and uncomfortable, but the water was hot and comfy and in the evening they would light the pools up, displaying different colours which looked stunning with the snow.
Sunday, that is, yesterday we just stayed at home.. The weather is bad atm and we were far too lazy to go out.
this week there are holidays.. But there's not much time to relax, as we have to learn for our Abitur and most of us are participating in courses.
I hope everyone is well, if anyone is interested we could arrange something during the somewhat existing holidays C:

1. When I was thirteen, I stepped deliberately on drawing pins (barfoot). I was curious to see how much blood that would give and how intensive the pain would be (I was disappointed).
2. I can't stand chocolate. When I was a child, I barely ate something other than chocolate - my parents had great difficulties in bringing me to eat at all, so they let me do it. Nowadays the smell of chocolate makes me already sick, but most people don't know it and think I love chocolate. When I got pralinés for Christmas, I was practically forced to eat them and then I.. instantly had to vomit.
3. I DO NOT FEEL TURNED ON BY ROBERT PATTINSON AS EDWARD. I really tried but... he'll never be it xD
4. I love everything that glitters! I'm ashamed to admit it, but when something glitters on the ground, I have to stop and pick it up. Yes, I agree, it doesn't go well with my gothy past.. xD
5. My motto is: Do it yourself! Before buying things, I always try to make them myself, and that goes from clothing to hair colours to jewellery..
6. I'm afraid of going to the hairdresser's - my hair is waist-long, and the thought that he would want to cut it all off alienates me.
7. I have a habit of doing ten things at a time, and then finishing nothing °_°/ Yay!
8. Sometimes I sleepwalk. This is pretty scary, for once I woke up in my wardrobe - you wouldn't want to experience this, especially not when you're having trousers dangling in front of your nose.
9. I love the combination between black and bright blue and you can find it often in my coordinations.
10. I dream of having enough money to buy an Angeic Pretty dress once. I bet this will never be the case ;D

Woooh!

It's been a veeerrrrry long time since I've written a blog entry, and I decided to make an attempt (yes, I know, I never get beyond these attempts - but at least I try it!) to revive my LJ again.

In one and a half month I'll do my main school exams.. Now is the first time that I'm really getting aware of the closeness of that date, and it sends shivers down my spine. On the one hand I'll be sad to part with the people I know now for nine years or longer - but on the other hand I'll be glad I can finally experience something new and get out of this boring shit. I would've never thought that I would be glad to finish school someday - as a pupil you have the most privileges: long vacation, going home early, you can relax during the lessons.. But now that's not a treat to me anymore.

What interestinng news can I provide you with? There's nothing really special in my life at the moment, so I'll supply you with a bit of random shit.
At the moment I'm very into baking - I bake muffins, cookies, bakes, and next I want to try these wonderful Cinnamon Buns: ovenhaven.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/if-they-were-pillows-id-hug-them/
Does anyone want to be my guinea pig? (I won't take any responsibility if you'll have to go to hospital xD)

On Friday we had our last Abiparty.. As it's carnival, everybody was ordered to come in costumes.. I went there as Snowwhite - the costume in itself was very simple, consisting out of a long tulle skirt and a corsage - but I had a cool apple necklace: I took an acid-green apple and sprayed red dye on the top, until the dye trickled down the apple sides. It looked indeed very toxic - and one fool at the party took the apple AND TOOK SEVERAL MOUTHFULS. He was completely drunk, I expect the dye will have dispersed in the alcohol in his stomach. I hope he's not dead by now..